Monday, June 21, 2010

Chocolate Cream Pie

This is what I made for The Spy Who Loves Me for Father's Day.  It's not really an official recipe, and it's so easy that it's almost embarrassing to post it on this blog, but I'm without pride so I'm just gonna go for it.

Graham Cracker Crust:
Crush 3/4 of a box of graham crackers
(This is not an exact measurement.  It's close.  Use more or less, depending on how thick you like the crust.  The Spy likes it thick.  Really thick.  So I used almost a whole box and a big pie pan.)
I put the graham crackers in a gallon zip lock and beat them with a rolling pin.  This is cheaper than therapy and way more effective!  How would I know?  I've never had therapy, although many people, mainly family members, have suggested I should.  And I just want to say, for the record, that I am not the crazy one.  They are the crazy ones!  I am perfectly normal.  Perfectly!

Where was I?  These people are driving me crazy!  I can't even think with all of them talking to me at once.  (Does it concern you that I'm totally alone right now?  Me neither!)

So, crush those graham crackers, and enjoy beating them silly.  I think the crust is good and looks pretty if some crumbs are bigger than others.  Some of my crumbs were more like chunks, and I think that's perfectly fine.  If you are into uniformity then you can put them in the food processor and grind them to death, but where's the fun in that?  Just whack 'em.  I might make another pie just so I can whack more crackers!

Once they are properly whacked, add 4 T. sugar and 1 stick melted butter.  Give it a stir.  When I made this pie on Saturday I threw caution to the wind and added even more butter.  Yes I did.  I actually made two pies, one to take to church, and one for home, so I whacked two boxes of crackers and then had too much, so I froze some of the whacked crackers.  I have the feeling I'm giving you too much information and that by now you've either switched over to The Pioneer Woman's website or you're just barely hanging on to see if I ever get to the point.  Don't fret, I'm almost there!

Once you've mixed the whacked crackers, sugar and butter, you pour it into your pie pan and firmly smash it down.  I used a cup to really give it a good smashing.  Come to think of it, this is a very violent recipe.  That's probably why I felt so good after making it!

Press the crust mix into the pan and bake at 325 degrees for ten minutes.  That's it.  Pie crust done.  Check!

Now to fill it.  This is where the difficult level gets ridiculously ridiculous!  This is where I totally swallow my pride and tell you that it's chocolate Jello pudding.  That's it.  Nothing more.  And even worse, it's the instant stuff.  Just one large box of pudding mixed with two and a half cups of milk.  My pie pan was really big.  Gigantic actually.  So I used two large boxes of pudding.  But for most pies, the ones that aren't on steroids, you only need one box.

Let it gel slightly, just for about five minutes, then pour it into the cooled crust.  Cooled!  Don't put it into a hot crust.  That could get ugly!

Final touches:

Put it in the fridge for at least a couple of hours.  Mine was in there overnight.  When you're ready to serve it, top the whole thing with an 8 oz. container of Cool Whip.  How embarrassing.  I didn't even make real whipping cream.  What a loser!  Who cares!  It was delicious!

Just to be a show off, and to make it look like I worked harder than I did, I grated part of a chocolate candy bar on top.  It adds nothing except the WOW factor.  I'm all about the WOW factor!

From whence it came:  All those people in my head talked me through this one.  Just kidding!  My mother-in-law used to make this pie for The Spy when he was just a little tyke and now he forces me to make it.  More like begs me to make it.  And, because I'm wonderful, I do it.  (Actually, whenever he wants me to do something he threatens to hide my Tim McGraw CDs.  That always gets my attention!)

Why it's blogable:  My teen daughter totally turns her nose up at pie.  Today, the minute she walked in the door from work, she went straight to the fridge (before eating lunch, which is against my rules, which if I had any power over her at all I would never allow, but I don't, so she did).  She pulled out the pie and cut herself a slice and ate it while I lectured her on the pitfalls of eating pie before a meal.  Then she licked her lips and that was that.

Now that your suspisions of my being completly insane have been confirmed, you should trust me on at least one thing.  This pie is good!  I promise!

Hope you enjoy stirring it up!

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